Cheap entertainment with gospel tracts

Have you seen those gospel tracts that look like envelopes with money hanging out of them? I got some the other day & have had fun laying them around stores & sidewalks & such to see how people react to them. I have enjoyed watching as people pick them up & think they have found something special (they have really, just not what they thought) & pull the "$100.00" out to find it saying to them "You have earned your wages. The wages of sin is death." I've seen one get dissapointed it wasn't real money & throw it down. Another picked it up, chuckled a little bit, read the tract & put it in his pocket. one guy picked it up & stuck it in his pocket real quick without reading it. He looked around like he had gotten away with something. Two young girls stopped and looked at a tract on the sidewalk walked on to their mothers car & told her. She got out of the car, walked quickly to the tract, picked it up & hurried back to her car. One honest soul, picked it up, took it in to the store she had just walked out of & turned it in. Of course there are probably some who wear their underware too tight & are upset because you are "tricking" them to read a gospel tract. Lighten up. How terrible can it be that someone has coerced you into reading about eternal life?

Stop the Trees!

We must be carefull of the not so suttle massages that are being sent throughout the world today. One of them is "Go green, plant a tree." We need to understand the danger that trees really are. Every since Eve picked that fruit off of the Tree of the Knowledge back in the garden they have been giving us trouble. Do you know what more people die from in car wrecks every year? Trees! They are everywhere. Growing too close to the side of the road so you can't see the stop sign on the corner. Children are always falling out of them & breaking their arm. Back in the days when they used to do a lot of lynching of innocent people, you know what they lynched them from? That's right. Trees! Trees are the scourge of the earth. Today in California there are many wildfires spreading across the countryside destroying peoples million-dollar mansions without mercy. One of the main ways these fires are spread is by trees. Our only hope is to start tree-control legislation immediatly. A few weeks ago the house of the parents of a childhood friend of mine was attacked by a tree. In an attempt to martyr itself during a recent storm the suicide tree "fell" on the roof of their house causing thousands of dollars of damage. Thankfully no one was injured, this time. Trees are used to make the paper used in cigarretes, cigars & even reefers. If you hike to the highest point of Mt. Leconte in the Smokies you would think that you would get a beautiful view for miles around but you don't, why? Trees. We must fight back! Join us in our crusade to cut them down & turn them into salad spoons, lingerie chests & picnic tables.